One morning, I found myself peering into a crevasse deeper and stranger than I’d known. It ran right through me, right through the center of my abdomen and as much as I tried, even my own arms weren’t long enough to reach all the way in there. Though the topography of my body was new and strange, my partner, kind enough to act as though there wasn’t a great rift in my being, took me and my crevasse to the ocean.
Clambering down hundreds of zig-zagging steps we found a tiny house on the beach, a structure whose front porch lay ten paces from the waves’ farthest reach at low tide. Inside, a black cat, a radio, and a friend all sat together by a window looking out to the sea. The friend handed us both hooded wetsuits and we slid into the frigid water, tumbling over breaking waves and fighting off riptides that bound our ankles in kelp. Sea foam entered the place in my middle that had opened up and it stung, so I sat in the shallows for a while and watched as the tide entered and exited my body, looking on at the play. From the house, the black cat watched.
The sun began to set and the temperature began to drop, so we pulled ourselves inside and made a fire. The opening in my center felt clean and cool from all the salt and foam, and as much as I examined it, even by the bright flame all I could see was dark. “In flux, we find flow and prime,” my friend murmured to the radio as he moved its dials swiftly through static.
The sun was not quite gone so I climbed a cliff to watch it melt through layers of fog into the waxy sea. The black cat trailed behind me. At the highest point I could find, I stood and let wind enter my body through the crevasse as the sun gave way to a full moon rising up behind us. Then, both our sets of green eyes tracking it like prey, I reached up and swatted down the moon, trapping it between my hands. It was damp and soft like moss, and very much alive. In one quick move I swallowed it whole, and for a moment the sky was empty and all was black. Then, as the moon traveled down into my abdomen its light appeared again, pouring out of the once-empty place in my middle.
I watched as ships in the distance turned their bows in my direction and began sailing.